20 Jokes for the 4th of July

This post originally published on a previously-owned blog and was imported here to simplify my life. Please excuse any confusion due to this merge. I hope you enjoy the content!

Very few people know this about me, but I love to collect lists of jokes. I’m extremely bad at remembering them and have them scattered around in emails, pins, scraps of paper, etc. What better place to get them organized than on the blog?

I apologize if you recognize one because I don’t have the original sources on some. But I did find a few new-to-me ones at this site.

20 clean jokes for the 4th of July || sydneyelizabeth.blog


Some cause chuckles, a few will make you groan and probably some will incite eye-rolling, but they’re just clean fun!

20 Clean Jokes for the 4th of July

What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, it just waved.

What do you call an American drawing?
Yankee Doodle.

What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?

What did Polly the Parrot want for the 4th of July?
A fire cracker.

If you crossed George Washington with cattle feed, what would you get?
The Fodder of our Country.

What was the most popular dance in 1776?

How is a healthy person like the United States?
They both have constitutions.

What did King George think of the American colonists?
He thought they were revolting!

Books never written:
– “American Victories” by Norman D. Beech
– “Coming to America” by Anita Greencard
– “The Star-Spangled Banner” by Jose Kanusee
– “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks

Who was the biggest jokester in Washington’s army?

Who is a fake patriot?
Uncle Sham.

Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?
At the chopping mall.

Why were the first Americans like ants?
They lived in colonies.

What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
It can’t sit down.

Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
To get to the other tide.

What was George Washington’s favorite tree?
The infantry.

Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?
Yes, it was a crack-up.

What did the Patriot put on his dry skin?

What did Americans do because of the Stamp Act?
The licked the British.

Do they have a Fourth of July in England?
Yes, it comes after July 3rd.

I’m sure there are more out there, so let me know of any more for my collection!

Happy July tomorrow, friends.

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