The Argument-Free Marriage
The author of this book initially declares that she and her husband have never had an argument. I assume my raised eyebrow reaction to that boast is not uncommon!
She goes on to really define what she means by argument, how it differs from a fight or a discussion and I was pleased to discover that, by her definition, I don’t believe my husband and I have had arguments either. Or else I absolutely cannot remember any. We’ve never once allowed the other to go to bed while angry (Ephesians 4:26) and somehow, by the grace of God, we’ve not had issues I know other marriages are riddled with.
That said, I still dove into the book with hope for encouragement, good advice and ways to even better improve my marriage. For the most part, that is what I found!
However, I don’t think I started out reading it with the correct mindset. There was a tad bit of misunderstanding when I began. It was sent to me to review by a Christian publisher through a Christian program I’m a part of and reviewed on the back cover by well-known Christian writers. Naturally, I assumed it would be a Christian marriage book.
That wasn’t really the case.
Every further chapter I completed I kept wondering, “Where is God?” But once I realized this was basically a secular book, I could read it as such. So just keep that in mind.
The author, Fawn Weaver, designed this book to be worked through in 28 days – each day has a short chapter with a different theme within “creating the marriage you’ve always wanted with the spouse you already have.” It’s a very easy read that truly has some good nuggets and wise advice. I think I would recommend it to the right person in the right situation.
But, for most people that even need a marriage book recommendation in the first place, I’m not sure this is where I’d start. I believe Jesus should be the center of marriages (Ecclesiastes 4:12) and that just wasn’t a component of her writing.
Most chapters said good things, granted, but a couple chapters made me uncomfortable. For example, there’s a significant section on tithing and God isn’t mentioned once. What? It was strange to say the least. What I took away from this part was the author was trying to convince the reader that giving away the first 10% of your income will make your financial woes disappear, your marriage all better and everything happy.
It didn’t matter where you gave that 10% – you just need to do it and all will improve in your life. She even quotes someone who discussed his dad: “…When he was short on money, he simply gave money to his church or to his favorite charity.” To avoid going further into the muddiness of this section, let me just say it made me uncomfortable as a Christian and that it saddens me for future readers that may not be well versed in the Bible and, specifically, God’s commands concerning tithing.
The author and her husband may very well be regular church attenders and tithe for the right reasons, but that message did not come through her writing, unfortunately. Again, I’d recommend this book to the right person. It truly was an uplifting and well-organized book.
I do believe, after reading her definition of argument and then her whole book, that she truly has an argument-free marriage. It’s awesome. I particularly appreciated the chapters entitled “Throw Out Your Plan B” and “Start a Daily Ritual.” For the most part, however, by God’s presence in my life and His gift to me in the man I married, most of the book wasn’t a lot of new concepts for my own life. I attribute that to the amount I read. I know most people don’t read as much as I do!
I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.